the past couple of days have been hard

My hubby has worked everyday since last Monday...not complaining because the money is good to catch up bills. Plus the tooth he broke last week can be fixed this week!! Anyways it has been hard not having him here to help me through my "episodes". I was upset yesterday afternoon so I ended up cutting. I have been cutting since I was a teenager. I only cutting maybe 3 times until after I married my ex-husband. I have lots of scars and I had almost completely quit cutting until the last few months, now I have fresh scars and a lot of them. People think only teenagers cut and that they only cut for attention. Let me make it clear that is not always true. That is a stereo-type that came along with the so called Emo kids. Cutters were way before Emos came along. "Normal" adults cut also and it's not for attention. At least I know from my experiences it's for a type of release. It releases built up mental stress from all of the abuse that I've experienced in my life. My ex-husband was a horrible, vile, sexual, emotional and verbal abusive man! The cutting when I was a teenager was more or less experimental because a friend told me she did it and it helped her. I was not abused by anyone during that time. The cutting that started when I was with my ex-husband was because of the abuse. I was abused in every way imaginable and unimaginable almost every day for 5 years! I don't know how I made it through that experience except for the love of my kids!!! I was terrified and didn't know how to get away. I was told he would find me and kill me and my kids and anyone who helped me get away. I was also told he would kill my family and burn them in their houses afterwards so I would never see them again alive or dead!! The only two things that were great from that marriage were my two sons and they have became wonderful men!! The last time they saw that man was in 1992...my youngest was 1 year old and the oldest was almost 3. They were raised by me and my current husband who I married in 1993. He is a wonderful man and helped my boys become responsible, intelligent, kind and honest men. I'm very proud of my sons and my husband. My husband has been by my side through all of this and I don't know what I would do without him!!
Hopefully things will start looking up after I see my doctor again on Wednesday!! I hope everyone has a good afternoon!! :)

A little about us

My chaotic life is about...well...my chaotic life!
I'm happily married to my husband of 19 years. We have 2 sons and a daughter-in-law (who I consider my daughter) and a grandson aka Boogie. We are Honey and Popsie. Our oldest son, dil and Boogie live with my dad, who lives right behind us. Our youngest son still lives at home with us. Our sons work with their dad at the power plant in Jewett. I don't work...but work my butt off at home taking care of things.
We have 3 pets...a dog, a cat and a parrot. Our dog is a red-dappled daschund named Waylon, our cat is a female calico manx named Callie and our parrot is a green-cheeked amazon named Tiki. We love our pets like members of the family and they are all very spoiled!
I live my life with fibromyalgia and all the problems that go along with it. Fibromyalgia is not a walk in the park! It is a debilitating syndrome...some days just getting out of bed takes effort.! Luckily I have an understanding and support family and physician who help me through it!
Well that's the basics! Read my blog daily to find out more :)